Dearest reader,
I have to post some updates:
1. I'm making a big post about girls for boys.. It's a lot of research and typing.. so it takes a long time to get finished.. thats one reason why I won't be posting much...
2. I'm also making a movie of my exchange. this takes a lot of time and concentration, so this is my first important thing that comes after my school. thats another reason why I wont be posting too much...
3. (and most important)
I found out that a lot of y'all have been following my blog. Don't forget that you can simply"follow" my blog! this way you can get reports when I upload things, and all you need is a Youtube / google account...
Love and Joy <3
Hello dearest reader,
I see you found my blog again. Thanks =)
It is kinda funny, because after I posted the "Loss of words" post, I had a little fight with my mother... And while she was telling me stuff I just stood there listening, trying to find things I wanted to say, but I couldn't think of anything.
Everything she said was so true. I felt so... useless after that. I kept telling myself "You are the worst daughter ever. How can you live with yourself. What are you doing to your own mother?!" and that kinda stuff...
But after all I didn't commit suïcide or something ;) Don't worry. My life means way too much for me to do something like hurting my body.
So now back to the good part. Today I was listening to the Dutch radio,
and I heard this song from Marco Borsato - Waarheid (Truth.)
I tried to translate a piece of the lyrics:
"How do you tell somebody
that the earth isn't round anymore
That the birds will never fly again
and the sun will never shine again
How do I tell you
that the life you lived
and the love you felt
will soon dissapear"
Dearest reader,
haven't been posting for a while, sorry.
But this had a reason.
There are so many things I'd like to say, scream, whisper, whatever...!
But since a couple of days I can't find words to describe my thoughts.
So yesterday I wrote a little poem,
I know its balls, but it kinda shows what I think of when I hear "Loss of words" (thats an expression, right?)
So much to do
so much to say
one day or another
it will be too late
so say it here
say it now
words are a gift
never a flaw
Throw your words in the future
(or in the past)
but talk every day
like it was your last.
And here is a nice expression I found in the book I'm reading right now. (Go Ask Alice, posted something about it earlier...)
"Treated like a kid, expected to be adult"
Dearest reader,
because of a vacation (I didn't even want to go on) I couldn't write for a while...
Life here is just as boring as it always was, accept now I can look forward to our exchange (wich is in 2weeks!)
I'm really happy to know that I will see our exchange students again.
They are all so nice! Especially the boys... But I don't know what it is with not-dutch boys, they're all so good looking, smart, cool, sportive....
AARRRGGHH
I don't want to live in Holland anymore !
The weather always sucks, the boys are ugly and weird....
GRRRR
This country is so small, so boring.. Dutch people mean nothing to the world!
I feel like I don't belong in holland....
Do you know that feeling ? Or is it just me ?
Thats why I made plans, to live half a year in the USA. Just to see what it's like.
I 'll probably miss my family and friends so much I want to come home, thats why it's only for half a year.
I really should learn for a test right now, but I just can't concentrate..
The last 2 months I really fucked school up. I failed a few tests and I hate that, but it's my own fault.
I just don't want to whaste god damn 17 years of my valuable life on school?!
I just.... PLEASE SOMEONE UP THERE
I THINK I'M BECOMING CRAZY HERE!
I DON'T WANT TO BE LOCKED UP...
