summer vacation

Dearest reader,
As you might have seen in my previous post;
here, in Holland,  the big Summer Vacation has started.
In short and understandable language this means;
I'll be in another country for a few weeks.
This also means that I probably wont have any internet acces,
and even if I would,
I probably wont have time to post anything on my blog...


So to short this little story;
I wont be posting a lot next month.


Sorry guys, you'll have to wait!


Enjoy your life there,
Jill.

SCHOOL OUT

SUMMER IN

HELP!

Dearest reader,
here's a quick post.
I used to download music from a site called youtube-mp3.com . 
but now google starts being an ass and close that site..
please read this
http://www.youtube-mp3.org/help-us
and HELP!
You don't have to use the site, but just read what they tell. 


Thank you,
Jill

empty & tired

Dearest reader,
a little late update (it's ten to half past eleven here..) but I just felt like it.
A lot of people think I'm mad at them, and at some people I am... but some people not. And it really annoys me that people keep thinking I'm angry while I'm not!
I really don't know what I do wrong. It seems like the whole world just leaves me here, alone, suffocating in my own self suffering.

I know I shouldn't complain, because there are people who have a waaayy worse life than me.. but I just can't help it.
My brain knows there are people that care about me, but in my heart it's so empty.
No other heart really loves me.
No other heart really likes me, as a friend.
And it feels empty.
litterally.
Today I hang out with a few people who do like me, and I just did normal,
and for some moments I forgot my sad mood. Wich really made me happy.
but then something was said and poof.
gone happiness.
hello sadness.
hello emptyness
hello fucking world.
I hope yuo get better.

And now, goodnight fucking world.
I'm T.I.R.E.D.



[T]orn apart [I]nsecure [R]eally good at faking a smile, [E]xtremely sad, [D]rowning in my tears.

Tell 'em this

Are you okay? 
Yeah I'm just T.I.R.E.D.


[T]orn apart [I]nsecure [R]eally good at faking a smile, [E]xtremely sad, [D]rowning in my tears.


You say I'm always happy, and that I'm good at what I do, but what you'll never realize is, I'm a damn good actress too.


When you act like you're fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you're not.

Words

Dearest reader,
here is a little poem I wrote a while ago.
I hope you like it :)
Love, 
Me


So much to do
so much to say
one day or another
it will be too late


so say it here
say it now
words are a gift
never a flaw


throw words in the future
(or in the past)
but talk every day
like it was your last.

Swag

Dearest reader
just felt like posting this ;
x Me
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Poetry

Dearest reader,
I decided to post a few and small poems, just because I feel like it.
I really think some of them are very deep and true...
You can find them on http://www.smsgedicht.nl/sms-gedichten/engels/ . It's a dutch site, but they also have english poems, which are beautiful... Please take a look :)

Take love, 
multiply it by infinity,
and take it to 
the depths of forever. 
And you still have 
only a glimpse 
of how I feel for you...

There is:
1. Thing 2. Do 3. Words 4. You

If you love someone 
be brave enough to tell them, 
otherwise, 
be brave enough to watch them 
be loved by someone else.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
He's meant for me,
and not for you.
If you try taking my place.
I'll put my fist in your face.

A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend.
If she doesn't get jealous when someone had
your attention, it's because someone has hers.

Don't be scared,
Just come with me.
Close your eyes,
So you can't see.
I'll take you somewhere,
Only we can be.
I'll take you away,
So you can feel free.

It's funny how, when I'm loud, 
people tell me to be quiet, 
but when I'm quiet, 
people ask me what's wrong

Do you ever wonder how many people notice you?
But you don't notice them because you are too busy 
noticing someone else that will never notice you?

now matter 
how much you think 
you hate school
you'll always miss it 
when you've left

I'm sexy 
and I know it!
You're ugly 
and you show it!

I wish 
my brain had a map 
to tell me 
where my heart 
should go.

The reason why people give up so fast 
is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, 
instead of how far they have gotten..

Love me or hate me, both are in my favour. 
If you love me, I'll always be in your heart.
If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind...

She's jealous because she's afraid 
you'll find someone prettier, smarter, 
taller, skinnier, calmer, 
stronger, and better than her

There's 'hell' in hello,
'good' in goodbye, 
'lie' in believe,
'over' in lover, 
'end' in friend, 
'ex' in next 
and 'if' in life

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets.
The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears.
And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.

Maybe I'm your ex-girlfriend, 
but I'm also your best friend. 
I'll support you with everything, 
and I'll still do anything for you.

So many ways 
to say 'I love you'
Never enough 
to say how much...

Joy

Dearest reader,
My brother just got called with the message he passed his exams..  It wasn't quite a surprise, because he always get the highest marks you can expect...
So now everybody is happy and celebrating,
accept me.
Dumb, little, annoying me.


I am already so nervous for my exams!
I know it's pessimistic to say, but I just know that I am going to fail my exams.. And then I have to tell my mother and father, and they will be broken hearted and dissapointed as f**k, but will just tell me that it's okay, just to make me feel better...


And right now I am in a test week, and I study so hard my head falls off...
today I totally screwed Biology, and I think math sucked too.
Tomorrow I have German, Dutch and economics.. But I haven't studied yet, because my parents want me to sit down an smile, just like everybody else.


Of course I am really proud of my brother, it's just that I've always been dumber and more bothersome than him. I guess thats what gave me the urge to really study my f**king ass off.....


But now I have to go, 
I'll see you around.
For everyone else that passed his/her exams, congratz :)


Love,
Me

Girls

Hello boys,
this post is specially for you guys.
I noticed that a lot of boys can't understand the way we think.
So I thought; let's be nice and post some crap about us that boys like to know.

FACT 1:
Girls act affected and excessive. Is this to get attention?
A lot of boys been telling me this. Are you guys blind or something? Mostly when a girl acts like this, she wants attention. And when she wants attention, she wants someone to look at her (wether thats you or her friends or another boy, thats not my case...). Isn't that obvious? When a girl (or someone else!!) wants attention, give it to her. When you  ignore her (and you are the person she wants the attention from..) she will go on and on and on with acting like this, 'till you gave her what she wants... Sounds kinda greedy, doesn't it?

FACT 2:
Girls are always so blind, but when you stare at their brests they have hawk eyes..
Oh boys.... Boys, boys, boys. I LMAO'd about this , never knew that boys really thought of this. For me personally it is absolutely true. I don't know why, but when a boy stares at my boobs, I know it right away. Maybe thats because boys I talk with aren't shy, so when they look down it can't be because they are nervous or something hahahah ! So, I'm sorry, next time I won't stop talking and scream WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY BOOBS ! anymore ... Happy now ?

FACT 3:
Girls always whine about their period. Is it really as bad as they say? 
For this fact I had to question a lot of girls, because this is really personal. One girl doesn't feel it, while the other can't even go to school because she has pain in her stomach. Most important for you guys is to know that a girl "act strange" once a month. When you notice it, be sweet to her, and especially don't go bother her! She might slap you (trust me, girls slap harder than you may think..)

FACT 4:
Girls are never alone. How can I tell a girl I love her without having all her friends there? 
Now that's a serious question.. Well, this depends on the kind of girl you want to approach. If she's on your school, try to cycle with her once (even if you have to go the whole other way..), and just tell her straight away how you feel. Most girls like honest boys. If she is not in your school, then try to get her number and text her that you want to see her. Then again, just be honest! Girls think that's sweet :)

Okay fellows, that's enough for today. I might upload more in the future, but I'm not sure....
xx Jill

Posting Pleasure

Dearest reader,
enough whining about my love life right now, Imma help you now !!
First I'll do something for the boys in here, because I already finished that post. After that I'll post something for the girls :)


So, I'll post it in just one hour or something! 
baiix

Short question

Dearest reader,
I'm still working on the "big post" and I need you to do something for me. Write a comment with something you'd like to know about girls. It can be anything!
You can comment by clicking the "[number] comments" and just scroll down and type :)
Please do it!

Love, Jill

Nothing left

Dearest reader,


My friend made a new poem, and I just had to post it, because I love it...

I don’t know how to turn all of this around
I can’t see a way out
The sun is still shining like nothing ever happened
Today I am alone in this confusion
Hurt and left behind in a world of nothing
This can’t get better, this is the absolute end
Because there is nothing left to give
There is nothing left to get
There is nothing left at all

I ran away all night
Away from the horrifying screams, away from the wrecked souls
I ran so fast, I lost my mind
And I lost my heart
Today, I am alone in this confusion
You aren’t here to take the lead
I need somebody to help me sleep

Why stay in a world of nothing?
We are only to be forgotten and lost
Have the thought ever occurred in your mind?
You, being the only person in the left in this wonderful world
All our history and knowledge
Gone, it’s gone
All our love, all the feelings, vanished in the big blue sea

It’s too late
I rather go to sleep
And never wake up again
I want to rise to the stars
And be with you again
Oh my love
There is nothing left
Nothing to give
Nothing to get
Nothing left at all

Love, Jill

SummerShine

Dearest reader,
Just to help y'all feel the summer,
I got a little video from youtube,
wich will make you laugh and it's a nice song :)


xx Jill

WARNING:

 Me and my friend almost suffocated from laughing, so please make sure you're not drinking anything or something..